I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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