Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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