Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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