Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize