I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize