there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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