So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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