if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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