I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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