College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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