i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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