11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize