I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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