I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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