Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize