If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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