Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize