so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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