drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize