i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize