I wish I could teleport
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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