Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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