her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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