I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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