I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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