is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize