This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize