you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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