someone owes me an orgasm
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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