I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize