did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize