I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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