Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She said her name was "party"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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