I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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