My room smells like vodka and shame
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize