Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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