fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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