whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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