so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my being single is dangerous.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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