But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
this boner is exhausting
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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