everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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