in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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