I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize