K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I AM VODKA MAN
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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