I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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