did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize