A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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