Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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