if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize