Please, let me fuck your mom
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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