I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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